In religious knowledge and woodwork,
then he may make an extremely good
undertaker, but he won’t fit into a
modern engineering industry like ours.”
That’s our Personnel Manager, Frank
Edwards. speaking.
“You know.” he said, “parents stop
me in the street and say: ‘My boy has
six 0-Levels: he wants to be an apprentice.’
But they don’t stop to consider
what subjects those 0-Levels represent,
or what grade of 0-Level has been
achieved.
“I do wish that all parents. careers
masters, and the pupils themselves,
would find out exactly what is required
of them educationally. I appreciate
that it is difficult for some 15- or 16-
year -olds to be absolutely sure what
they want to do: nevertheless statistics
show that at least 75 per cent. of this
age group are sure.
“There is plenty of information available
about apprentice and training
schemes both in Engineering and other
fields at the Youth Employment Service
of the Minister of Labour. The staff are
trained to help and should be asked for
advice and guidance in individual cases.
“The opportunities offered by our
2
the Making
Scheme are varied. Briefly, they range
from Craft Apprenticeships. which train
young men for skilled jobs in Production
Machine Shops, Toolroom and
Maintenance Departments, to Technical
Apprenticeships, both Electrical and
Mechanical, with the chance, for those
of special ability, of gaining technologist
qualifications leading to Management
positions.
“On the Commercial side, an apprentice
could receive training in such subjects
as Accounts, Computer Services,
etc., and specialist qualifications are
often obtained.
“Today our apprentices have the
advantage of a well-equipped and
staffed Training School, with day or
block release to college, sandwich
courses, visits to other factories, discussion
groups, etc. But it was not always
SO.
“The Apprenticeship Scheme started
about 1942, as soon as the Company
was established at Mitcheldean. At
first the intake was about five lads per
year and they gained their training in
the shops. There was no release for
College: instead the boys had to attend
night school to study for their examinations
three evenings a week with three
nights of homework. (They could
choose for themselves whether they
wanted Saturday or Sunday night off!)
“The next development was half-day
release, then day release, and so the
Scheme gradually built up to an intake
of about ten boys per year.
“In 1961 the Training School was
started to give off-the-job basic training.
This was necessary because at this time
we were moving from small on to larger
batch production, which meant the
disappearance of the basic types of
machine tools from the shops.
“The setting up of the School, in the
old Brewery building, coincided with
the decision to issue proper indentures
to apprentices and to increase the yearly
intake to the present level of 20–
students.
“The interviewing of applicants took
on a new meaning with the introduction
of the new pattern for Technical Education.
It was decided to knit academic
qualifications more closely v. ith entry
qualifications for Engineering Courses,
and nowadays entries into various types
of apprenticeships are governed by
Top: Apprentices completing various exercises on the centre lathe and milling machine
under the guidance of Bill Stearn. Below: Len Hart gires basic training instruction
in the lecture theatre.
academic qualifications.
(Hitherto the National Certificates
in Engineering had been everyone’s aim.
irrespective of academic qualifications,
and one could go in, time and time
again, for the examinations-in fact,
the failure rate was something like 80
per cent!)
“About the same time, incidentally,
the Certificate of Secondary Education
(C.S.E.) was introduced enabling all
school leavers to possess, and produce
to prospective employers, an account of
successes and failures of their school
careers.
“Once selected, our apprentices follow
a laid-down syllabus which has been
approved by the Engineering Industry
Training Board, the first year being
spent in the Training School. Our aim
is to produce trained engineers to an
exacting practical standard, the academic
standard being limited only to an
individual’s capabilities; proof of this
is provided by the fact that, at the
present time, three apprentices are at
Colleges of Advanced Technology, having
displayed outstanding academic
ability.
“Recent achievements have included
awards both collective and individual
in apprentice competitions.
“For example, our second-year apprentice
Richard Morgan recently won
second prize in the Junior Grade,
Machining/Fitting Section, of the
Engineering Employers’ West of England
Association Apprentice Competition
for 1966.
“Our apprentices are consistent prize-
4
Apprentice Richard
Morgan, a regular
prize-winner, with
instructor William
Luker. In the
background can be seen
the Forest of Dean
Technical College cup,
which keeps returning
to us!
winners in the Craftsmanship Competition
run by the Gloucestershire & South
Worcestershire Productivity Association,
while the cup awarded by the Forest of
Dean Technical College for collective
examination results has come back to us
year after year with almost clockwork
regularity!
“We are proud of the fact that exapprentices
are taking their places in
Management at all levels; in the
technical fields ex-apprentices have
visited the Xerox Corporation in the
U.S.A. on behalf of the Company at
various times. Bob Evans, Roy Powell
and John Smith are three such exapprentices
who come to mind.
“Mention has been made of the
E.I.T.B. This Board was set up to
ensure that adequate training of a
proper standard was being performed
in all British engineering industries.
The industry is levied with a charge on
pay-roll of 21 per cent and each company
is granted re-imbursement related
to the type and quality of training it
provides.
“It is the aim of our Company to
comply with the Board’s requirements
not purely as a duty but rather as a
continuing policy of training for the
future prosperity of Mitcheldean “.
vvvvv,, COVER PICTURE
rLit’, \cc,’ a ‘puss’ pending? This
one, which seems to have adopted
us, was recently discovered settling
down for a cat nap in Despatch
Office! PHOTO: A. HAMBLIN
,Ar,./1″..”.A.M.”A”^”IVAN1.”.”, WV, NS
7-**Irlrer-T,
FUND RAISING
IS FUN!
Two hundred pounds for the
Muscular Dystrophy Group of Great
Britain! This splendid sum brings the
Ladies’ Keep Fit Club’s total efforts for
charity since they started in June 1964
to £400!
Two years ago the Club raised £82 in
aid of the Multiple Sclerosis Society.
The proceeds from their latest social
evening, held in the Social Centre on
April 22, exceeded everyone’s expectations,
and the Club wish to offer their
sincere thanks to all those whose help
and generosity made the evening such
a success.
Thanks are due firstly to Messrs.
H. W. Raynor of Ross who once again
supplied the delightful outfits for the
Spring and Summer Fashion Show.
Plenty of ideas here for your holiday
wardrobe: suits to suit all occasions,
useful day dresses, swinging separates.
beachwear for sunny days and rainwear
that could make you wish for a wet day!
Matched %% ith the right accessories, they
were alleasy on the eye and on the purse.
Shoes to complete the ensembles were
kindly provided by Mrs. E. Roberts
Shoe Shop, Mitcheldean.
Mrs. Elsie Olivey, a good friend of
the Club, arranged the floral setting for
the show, while the furnishings were
supplied by Foyle’s of Cinderford.
R. EVAN S
After the show the ladies gave a Keep
Fit Display, led by Mrs. Ruby Phillips
(Accounts) and accompanied by Mrs.
Greta Negrin at the piano. The many
guests required little persuasion to buy
tickets for the raffle, the excellent prizes
for which were generously donated by
local traders.
Mr. Brian Weyman (2400 Dept.)
kindly acted as M.C. and the evening
concluded with dancing until midnight
to the Blue Ramblers Dance Band,
whose drummer, Graham Beavan, works
in Production Control.
Mr. F. Wiclsstead, the Club’s
president, came along with Mrs. Wickstead;
with them were Mr. and Mrs.
J. C. C. Woods, and we were also very
pleased to welcome Mrs. G. S.
Hemingway and her daughter Janice.
Two people present who had a particular
interest in the success of the venture
were Mr. and Mrs. G. W. I. Vickers,
chairman and secretary respectively of
a new branch of the Muscular Dystrophy
Group of Great Britain set up in
Gloucester last October.
Expressing his gratitude to the Ladies’
Keep Fit Club, Mr. Vickers told of the
various ways in which the Group’s funds
were used to assist sufferers from this
wasting disease of the muscles.
5
Mr. Wickstead shows
the 914 assent* control
unit to Mr. John Davis,
Chairman and Chief
Executive of The Rank
Organisation, and ( far
left) Mr. Graham
Dowson, Director of
Marketing.
PP
THE CHAIRMAN’S VISIT
IT is 12 months since the Chairman’s last ‘sit to Mitcheldean, and when he came
on April 11 he noted with satisfaction the progress that had been made with
regard to the provision of new facilities for the expanding Engineering Department.
He thought the facilities that had been provided for the 2403 were excellent, but
highlighted the importance of getting production back on schedule.
He had every confidence in the future of the 2400, he said, but was disappointed
that we were delaying its introduction, although no one in the Company was underestimating
the problems involved in getting a product of this nature into the market.
After a tour of the Works, and meetings with our senior executives, Mr. Davis
was joined by 27 investment analysts who had come down from London to see the
Plant. He subsequently said how deeply appreciative he was of the way in which
our guides had escorted the visitors who. he felt sure, would take away with them
a good impression of Mitcheldean.
Other important visitors to our Plant in recent weeks have been Sir Percy
Faulkner, Controller of Her Majesty’s Stationery Office, with Mr. J. McCausland,
Director of the HMSO Technical Division: and Mr. Dashkevich. President of
Technoprom Import, Moscow, our one and only Soviet customer, with Mr.
Vishnyakov, Representative in the USSR Trade Delegation in the UK at Highgate.
Mr. Thomas A. Law
IT is with deep regret that we have to record the death on April 15 of Mr. Tom
Law. Managing Director of Rank Xerox. and a member of the parent Board of
the Rank Organisation.
Mr. Law, who joined British Acoustic Films in the late 1920s, was, as Chief
Engineer, the driving force behind the evacuation of the factory front Shepherd’A
Bush to Mitcheldean. For some time he lived in the converted stables on the
Plant site (now the Club House) and even after his return to London he always
retained a great interest in our factory.
For many years he acted as President of our Long Service Association. Those
who knew him personally regarded him not only with respect but also with
genuine affection.
tlitcheldean was represented at the memorial service by Mr. F. Wickstead
together with Mr. W. E. Austin, Mr. R. H. Camp and Mr. A. S. Pratt.
7
‘Conte Back to .Sorrento’, from
Italian bass Edward Chetcuti.
(Left to right) Jackie Smith, Primrose McCormick, John Ski Iton and
Margaret Green in a scene from ‘Rhubarb Wine’. Below: Tom, Cale makes
up a member of the cast.
VARIETY NIGHT
R first ‘Variety Night’ with allk…/
Rank artistes took place on March 3
in the Social Centre-arid what excellent
entertainment it proved!
Introduced by John Watkins (Maintenance),
everyone played, sang or
acted like seasoned performers.
The Rank Orchestra set the pace-a
rattling good one-with the Manbehind-
the-Show George Douglas (Paint
Shop Supervisor) at the piano. Harry
Tooze (T.E.D.) at the electric organ, his
Schoolboy Bob Randall draws front Shirley Willstead sings about Hawaiian interlude with guitarist
memory! ‘Summertime’ Derek Young.
brother Doug (Advance Planning) on
the drums, and Lauri Moon (Security)
on the saxophone.
Our Drama Group made a good start
in their acting career with an amusing
sketch ‘Rhubarb Wine’, produced at
short notice by Primrose McCormick
(914 Assembly).
Then there was an historical, if not
hysterical, interlude when a slapsticky
attempt was made by ‘Professor’ Don
Webb and his ‘pupils’ Bob Randall and
John Hutchins (all 2400 Dept.) to
decorate the stage! Wendy Teague
(Personnel) played a glamorous stripper
who never got round to stripping, and
Ray Pickthall (813 Assembly) an unglamorous
stripper who did!
Arthur Hardy (914 Assembly) scored
a hit with his impressions, yodelling and
gags, while Derek Young (Design D.0.)
transported us to the Pacific with his
performance on the Hawaiian guitar.
There were songs to suit everyone’s
taste from the excellent voices of Shirley
Willstead (2400 Assembly), Edward
Chetcuti (electrician), Gordon Davies
(Machine Shop Time Office), John Earl
(Production Control), and Sadie Pritchard
(813 Assembly) who brought a bit
of Irish charm to the evening.
Those who saw the show have been
PHOTOS: A. HAMBIIN
saying “We simply must have another”,
and we’re pleased to announce one has
been fixed for Friday, July 14.
The newly-formed Variety Committee
(George Douglas, Don Webb, Derek
Young, John Watkins and Primrose
McCormick), working in conjunction
with the Sports & Social Club, are
planning an attractive programme.
One item, sure to be popular, will be
a line-up of ‘Mitcheldean Maids’.
Recruited from within the Plant, they
are being trained by Mrs. Ruby Phillips
(Accounts).
Well, we always said there was plenty
of talent in the Plant, didn’t we!
9
case for
congratulations
once-familiar figure at Mitcheldean in
the ‘Bell & Howell days’. when he
headed the Saks Department. Mr. Frank
Jessup, a director of Rank Audio
Visual Ltd., recently paid us a visit to
say farewell to some of his old friends.
The latter were able not only to wish
him a happy retirement after 40 years
in the photographic and audio visual
industry, but also to congratulate him
on his forthcoming marriage in the
U.S.A. to a Canadian friend. He was
presented with a gentleman’s suitcase,
an appropriate gift since he plans to
travel a good deal.
Another happy bit of news concerning
former members of the old sales team
at Mitcheldcan-Miss Sheila Slade,
once Area Controller, London, was
married on April I at Goodrich Church
to Mr. E. W. Cann. formerly Assistant
Sales Manager at Mitcheldean and now
Marketing Director of Rank Photographic.
Sheila’s father. ‘Jim’ Slade.
works in our Production Control
Department.
best wishes to . . .
Mr. and Mrs. W. Knapgate, both Long
Service members and now retired, who
celebrated their Golden Wedding Anniversary
on March 1 I.
Jack Guy (Polishing Shop) and Harold
HOME MARKET
For Sale
Modern Detached Bungalow & Garage.
Three bedrooms, oil -tired central heating.
Situated in pleasant surroundings
at Steam Mills Road, Cinderford.
Enquiries to: Box No. 21.
Flavel Debonair gas fire, as new. £15.
Apply to M. Coombes, 914 Assembly.
Glowworm Junior solid fuel boiler, as
new. Will take one radiator and towel
rail. Offers to: D. Hanman. Machine
Shop.
Large Five-Berth Residential Caravan,
two years old. All main services connected.
Replies to: M. Salmon. 2400
Planning.
For Hire
Four-berth Caravan at Aberayron, near
Aberystwyth. Enquiries to K. Lewis,
Plumbing Department.
Wanted
Good Home for pretty Jack Russell
bitch, two years old. Apply: Mrs. I.
McLaren. Inspection, Project 9 Machine
Shop.
Cabin Trunk, reasonable condition.
Replies to: Mrs. E. Hanman, Project 9
Machine Shop.
Jones (Painter), Long Service members.
who retired on March 10. They had
both been with the Company for 13
years. Jack was presented with a watch
and Harold with an electric blanket by
the L.S.A.
WORKS ENGINEER
Mr. R. Brown, A.N1.I.Plant.Engs..
A.M.B.I.M., took up his appointment
with us as Works Engineer
on April 3. He has had long
experience in plant maintenance
with particular reference to
machine tool maintenance and
manufacture. He lives in
Gloucester and is married with
four children.
PRIZE PICTURES
MR. W. I.LETCHER-COOPLR has acted
as judge of the Cine & Photographic
Club’s Annual Film Competition
a number of times, and he has always
been ready to advise both winners and
non-winners. It may be due in some
measure to his interest that the winning
films in the 1966 competition, shown in
the Social Centre on March I. were so
enjoyable.
First prize went once again to Arthur
Mason (Warehouse Administration) for
his unique film showing the ceremonial
replacement of the dome and cross after
repairs to the church steeple at Elbigenalp
in the Lechtal Valley. Austria.
Mr. Mason unexpectedly found himself
a spectator at this unusual ceremony and
made excellent use of his opportunity.
Another film by Mr. Mason -‘Scptember
in the Tyrol’-took second place
(he subsequently renounced this prize).
Both these films, said Mr. Fletcher-
Cooper. were examples of “some of the
highest standard of film-making on
8 mm. of this type that I have ever
seen”.
‘Holiday in Holland’. taken by Fred
Brown (Tool Room) came a notable
third, and was particularly interesting
in that it has a genuine sound track
recorded on the spot by our blind
employee, Jim Blake (Goods Inwards
Inspection), on his portable tape recorder.
Fourth came a family film from Robin
Berks (2400 Production Control) with an
extremely young gentleman as its star.
This. Mr. Fletcher-Cooper pointed out,
would be a film worth its weight not in
gold but in uranium in 20 years’ time!
Winning Slides
Another item on the evening programme
which was greatly appreciated
was the showing of entries in the slide
competition held earlier, judged by
another good friend of the club. Mr.
Russell Adams, F.R.P.S. First place
here went to Alec Sproul (Planning) with
Richard Skyrme (2400 Production Control)
second, works photographer Tony
Hamblin third, and Mrs. Valerie Jordan
fourth.
Prizes of colour cine film and plaques
were kindly presented by Mrs. Fletcher-
Cooper and the evening was rounded
The slide that won Alec Sproul last prize.
off with a showing of the laugh-a-second
feature film ‘Doctor in Love’. projected
by Bill Austin (Tool Room) on a
Bell & Howell Model 609 with the
newly installed Xenon arc lamp which
vastly improves the picture quality.
Mr. Mason’s film ‘Elbigenalp’ represented
the club some days later, on
March 15, in a competition between
eight local tine clubs. We would like to
report that it won, but unfortunately it
did not have that honour, though it
showed up well amid very stiff opposition!
On the same night several members of
the club visited the.Ross-on-Wye Cine &
Photographic Club to hear a lecture and
see a demonstration of the latest colour
developing techniques by Mr. Dennis
Pole of Kodak. They came back full of
new ideas, so the rest of the club is now
looking forward to some startling
results from them, reports secretary
Robin Berks.
Once again on the same night, two
members of our own club showed to a
Newnham-on-Severn audience the film
made by the Rank Organisation and
presented to the Red Cross to mark
their centenary. It is understood that
some £50 was collected for the cause
that night-another worthwhile effort.
11
WITH machine storage space in the
1’V Warehouse at a premium, it is
obviously important to ensure that the
area is not wasted but used to its fullest
advantage.
While it is feasible for 813 machines,
1110.111.1111P”‘
111/
12
STORAGE
ON THE
RIGHT I
TRACK
packed in regular size cartons, to be
stacked one on top of the other, five or
six high. 2400 and 914-type machines
call for a different system. And the one
that was in use until recently made it
necessary to leave a 10-ft. gangway to
every two rows of stillages in order to
allow fork-lift access-a considerable
waste of space.
An effective answer to the problem
has been found in the ‘live storage’
racking installation known as `Flevitrae,
made by the Steel Equipment Co. Ltd.
of West Bromwich.
This new-type storage system will
take 324 914s plus 506 2400 machines,
compared with 380 914-type machines
formerly stored in the same area.
The new installation consists of a
three-tier system of 75-ft. long tracks
with nylon rollers which works entirely
from compressed air. Each track is
numbered and operated independently.
When the relevant switch at the end of
the track is switched on, the track is
gently agitated backwards and forwards.
This movement, in conjunction
Left: a 914 travels m.er rollers
into the automatic loader.
Top: Ray Goode positions the
machine on an upper track.
PHOTOS: A. HAMBLIN
Buffers are sited at the end of each track on the pick-off face.
with the slight gradient of the track
(1 in 98), smoothly conveys each
machine towards the pick-off face of
the installation.
Each machine has to be positioned
accurately on the track, and for this
reason loading is done automatically
by an electrically-operated loader,
specially made for the job by V.M.E.
Conveyor & Furnace Co. Ltd. This
runs on a track alongside the loading
face of the racking installation.
The copiers arrive from the production
line supported on a wooden pallet.
Each is then fork-lifted on to a second
`slave pallet’ made of steel which carries
it over moving rollers on to the automatic
loader.
By manipulating a simple panel of
controls the operator drives the loader
along its track until it is opposite the
required bank of tracks. A system .of
photo-electric cells ensures that the
machine being loaded arrives exactly
opposite the track selected, whether it
be on ground or upper levels. A latching
pin is then released to secure the loader
in position.
On the pressing of a discharge button,
a plate gently pushes the loaded machine
forward into position on the rollers,
which have been set in motion.
The machines are removed at the
pick-off face in the normal way by
fork-lift truck. Needless to say, there
are special stops to deter any of our
space-age machines from trying to
become airborne!
Machines for any one particular
country are labelled accordingly and
stored together on the same track.
Every machine that comes to the
Warehouse has a serial number and the
record system employed makes it easy
to trace the exact location of each
individual machine within minutes.
Altogether the installation of a live
storage system has achieved a saving
not only in space but also in labour and
time.
13
A pair of binoculars for
him, a cameo brooch for
her, and a cheque from the
L.S.A. for both were presented
to Mr. and Mrs.
W. E. Blaich before they
left for New Zealand. The
presentation was made by
Mr. G. Fricker, supervisor
of the Tool Room with
which Mr. Blaich was associated
some years ago.
With them is Mr. R. Camp.
chairman of the L.S.A.
A. HAMELIN
PUTTING YOU IN THE PICTURE
21st Birthday
Miss Hazel Matthews I Print Room) on
March 22.
They’ve Arrived
Simon Da% id. a son for Mrs. Shirley
Lloyd (formerly 813 Assembly), on
January 16.
Phillip Neil. a son for Clive Brain
(Design Engineering), on February 10.
Clare, a daughter for Bob Greenman
(Development Engineer), on February
Blaine David, a son for Mrs. Joan
Reed (formerly Production Control),
also on February 11.
Alison Mary, a daughter for David
Norman (Design D.0.), on February 18.
Philip Kevin, a son for Mrs. Eileen
Hook (formerly Punch Room, Accounts).
on February 21.
Mr. and Airs. N. Ramsey
ROOK PHOTOGRAPHY
Simon James, a son for Derek Wintle
(trainee Personnel Officer) and his wife
Margaret (formerly Print Room), on
February 23.
Helen Maria, a daughter for Barrie
Morgan (Machine Shop), also on
February 23.
Karen Lesley, a daughter for Nurse
Edna Jones (formerly First Aid), on
February 28.
Sean David and Pat Claire, twins for
Dave Bonser (Maintenance), on March
21.
They’re Wed
Miss Pat Hall (813 Assembly) to Michael
Mansell at St. Stephen’s Church.
Cinderford, on February 18.
Colin Lewis (Machine Shop Inspection)
to Miss Pam Roberts (914 Assembly) at
the Forest Church on March 4.
Miss Esme Annis (Production Control,
Mr. and Mrs. V. Gardner
R. EVANS
Mr. and Mrs. E. Hughes. J. C. W. INGRAM
Project 9) to John Cox at St. Stephen’s
Church, Cinderford, on March 11.
Also on March 11, Miss Angela Morgan
(Accounts) to Stuart Fox (Purchase
Office) at St. Stephen’s, Cinderford.
All on March 18: Miss Stephanie Jayne
(Dictorel) to Neil Ramsey (P.E.D.) at
Bishopswood Church: Ron Wilkes
(2400 Quality Control) to Miss Hazel
Round at All Saints Church, Yatton
(Hazel used to work in the Machine
Shop): and Jeff Lewis (driver) to Miss
Jennie Pumfrey at Sutton St. Nicholas.
Ernest Hughes (Process Planning) to
Miss Valerie Price at Our Lady of
Victories, Cinderford, and Victor
Gardner (914 Inspection) to Miss
Brenda Mills at St. Stephen’s, Cinderford,
both on Easter Monday.
Miss Jo Chapman (secretary to Mr.
R. T. Walding) to Derek Jones (914
Assembly) at St. Peter’s Church, Clearwell,
on April 1.
They’re Engaged
Miss Pauline Male (Production Control)
to David Minton on February 18.
Rex Keane
EVERYONE was shocked to hear of the
death on March 10 of Rex Keane of
Reliability Engineering, who tragically
lost his life while exploring an iron ore
mine at Milkwall with other members of
the Forest of Dean Caving Club.
Rex, an experienced caver, was one
of the founder members of the club and
he gave up much of his time conducting
parties and training youngsters. He
will be sadly missed by the club, and
our sympathy goes to his wife Edna,
also of Reliability Engineering.
Above: Mr. and Mrs. S. Fox. Below:
Mr. and Mrs. J. I.U.C. PHOTOS: R. EVANS
Below: Mr. and Mrs. M. Mansell.
ANY ANSWERS
WHO in 813 exchanged a piano for a load of manure’?
WHO in P.E.D. took what must have been detergent pills prescribed by his doctor?
He is now presumably whiter than white inside!
WHO in Model Shop proved a reluctant juror?
WHO in Electrical Laboratory replies: “Road hog” when asked his name?
WHO in Work Study had a lot of explaining to do when he returned home smelling
like a rose?
WHO gives his car an M.O.T. test every lunchtime?
WHICH Planning Engineer bought a car for economy and found he uses more oil
than petrol?
WHO in 2400 is trying hard to give up smoking Kit-Kat?
WHICH Volkswagen owner manoeuvred his car so that he wouldn’t have to get
out of it to post a letter’?
WHO in 813, thinking he was on night shift, turned over to go to sleep again and
was kicked out of bed by his wife?
WHO in P.E.D. calls himself Mr. Squeezy?
WHICH young lady in the Punch Room wants to play the harp in the projected Plant
orchestra but is too modest to apply?
WHO takes home a very good husband every night?
WHICH two chargehands in 813 went during lunchtime to look at a lady’s sparking
plugs and found she had run out of petrol?
WHO in Maintenance bought a Morris Minor and found when he got it home
that it was really a Standard Ten?
WHO in Production Control was in such a hurry to get home that she made a dive
for the bus, misjudged the distance and crash-landed?
WHICH sportsman in the Tool Room shot a wild duck with his mini-car?
WHICH two sportsmen, also in the Tool Room, unw ittimzly went fox-hunting by car
and came home with the brush?
WHO in 2400 Department blamed hockey for a weak back?
WEIR 4 I Goods Inwards inspector diets all the week so that be can indulge in bets at
the %eekend?
A NEW FOREST OF DEAN
The Warehouse, built some time ago, within a hollow, dotes below,
Had only banks of soil to see from windows facing southerly.
Perhaps, we thought, ’twill come to pass that some kind soul will sow some grass,
And, if the ‘Powers that be’ agree, there may, moreover, be a tree.
.4 tree, some shrubs, would be iust right, we thought. But, overnight,
Where all was barren desolation there has appeared a fir plantation!
The future now looks dark and grim. In years to come it will he dim
Inside: the sun will shine unseen, obscured by arms of evergreen.
Perhaps, before we disappear, the reason may become quite clear:
Each tneother of the Contpaor will get a home-grown Chri.ctota.c tree!
Printed by the Victor James Press Limited, Coulsdon, Surrey
